Prayer talk at the Discipleship meeting last night...

Last night’s talk went really well. It was exciting and such a privilege to talk about prayer. I felt so humbled to have the opportunity to share about something so marvelous and so vital to our walk with Christ. It was also really great to take the time to study prayer again and look at what the Bible says about it. It was as much needed in my own life as in that of the youth. I long to be so much more consistent, faithful and earnest in my own prayer life and am convicted of how prideful I am that I think I can succeed or even survive any part of my day without coming first to the Lord in prayer. Talking about prayer has made me so grateful to so many of my friends at Dartmouth and on summer project who have shown me what it is like to be committed to prayer, to stop at any point and pray and with whom I have experienced such powerful and intimate times of communal prayer, of seeking the Father together. Thank you.

To share a bit about what I talked on here is a quick outline:

1. What is Prayer (adoration, confession, supplication, intercession, thanksgiving)

2. The command to pray (why God commands us to pray and why we should want to pray-- all the marvelous promises/results of prayer)

3. Why we don't pray (unbelief/blindness to who God is, shame, and sin of pride and independence and what do we do about that: pray for God to open our eyes to who He is, believe on the promises of God about prayer and that through Christ we can come to him in prayer and confession of our sin of pride, unbelief, independence and believe in the gospel that cleanses us, enables us to come to God and creates in us a longing for communion with God as we rejoice in our salvation

Then we had a time of extended prayer where we went through each of the elements of prayer.

Thank you for your prayers it was so great to see the youth coming together to pray. I know God was listening, His presence was there and that He will answer in His perfect and good way to the prayers that came before Him last night.

Even though I get nervous for public speaking, I do really enjoy the challenge of it and am passionate about sharing with these youth so many truths that have and continue to so deeply impact my life. I mentioned to the main leader that if they ever need someone again that I would be willing to speak. She said that she would talk with the other leaders about it and was very encouraging of it. We typically have a pastor from town come every other week but she said she might have me speak on the other weeks so about twice a month potentially. Please pray for God’s leading and wisdom regarding this. A topic that I would love to speak on is forgiveness. Through discipleship and talking with my girls I know that unforgiveness has a strong grip on many of them. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things we are called to but also so vitally important to our relationship with God. Forgiveness isn’t a simple thing, it must be deep, it’s a process. Though I have fear speaking about it I also feel burdened to do so. Please pray that God might open up this door but ultimately that these youth would come to experience the freedom of forgiveness and the joy of obeying the Lord. 

August Update

So it’s been a while, sorry!…but finally here is an update on my life here in Honduras. It’s quite long, a lot to update on…I’ll be impressed if you get through the whole thing! :) 

School happenings…

The library is finally decorated!! Some teams came this summer who had artists, sewers and man-power so we were able to make colorful mat covers, book-ends and paintings for the walls including a tree with the kids’ traced hands as leaves. I’m so happy that these ideas actually became a reality and that finally the library looks like a library—a warm inviting place to read J

Here is a picture of the library when I first got here:

Here is what it looks like now:

So I really enjoyed the three weeks teaching English in the high school and God has enabled me to stay in the high school as an assistant teacher (I trained another volunteer to take over my Elementary school reading classes). I am so happy and grateful that this worked out because I have discovered that I like and am much more passionate about teaching in high school than in Elementary school. Being a teacher in the high school has opened up some really cool doors to get to know the older kids better (several of whom are in the discipleship program I help out with), to have great conversations to encourage the youth and talk about God. I’m also learning a lot about teaching English as a second language, which is something I have wanted to learn for a while now.

Bible Studies/Discipleship…

Please continue to pray for the Bible studies I have with my high school girls on Monday and Tuesday nights (there are two houses). We’ve been going through a devotional that I’ve been writing for them called “The gospel: my freedom, hope and power.” The first section is on who God is particularly focusing on His holiness, the second is on who we are: created in the image of God but fallen and completely depraved, the third is on who Jesus is: on Him as our only hope for salvation, and the fourth is on our response to the gospel: what is true salvation. We are still working through these first four, the basics of what the gospel really is. My hope for the following studies is to study what we are called to as Christians (such as forgiveness, love, sharing the gospel, sexual purity etc.) but that it is this same gospel that gives us the heart motivation and power to live the Christian life, that it is all based, rooted in the gospel, that it all comes out of knowing and experiencing the gospel of grace. Please pray that God would give me wisdom and guidance as I write these devotionals and lead these studies. I feel the great weight yet also excitement, joy, deep longing and urgency to proclaim the gospel clearly to these girls. Please pray that God would work powerfully by His Spirit through these studies and that these girls would truly be saved and know the power of the gospel in their lives.

One-on-one discipleship…

I haven’t been able to do as much of this for a while because of the demands of teaching but I am starting to do more again, though there have always been a few that have consistently sought out my counsel. Some of the topics/issues that have come up and I’m seeking to walk alongside these girls in are:

-experiencing heartbreak after breaking up with a boyfriend

-confusion and sadness in interacting with a close friend who is being disobedient, hurtful and not walking with the Lord

-forgiving abusive parents (please please pray for this, it has a strong grip on so many youth here, and particularly some of my girls, only the power of Jesus can penetrate these walls)

-spiritual battle—sin, violent anger, discouragement, evil spirits, dreams about witchcraft

-making time to spend with God and study His word

-desire and fear of having close friends, friendships being attacked

-wanting to leave the orphanage…I have a couple girls who are 18 or turning 18 and are in 7^th grade. When a child here turns 18 they can legally leave an orphanage though they don’t have to. They want to be with their family, they want to get out from all the rules at the orphanage. One in particular is dead set on leaving in a couple months once she finishes this school year. It’s so hard for me to see this, I’ve been trying to talk with her pretty point blank about what this means for her future but she doesn’t really want to listen. What options are there for an 18-year-old girl with a 7^th grade education? She won’t be able to keep studying if she goes back to live with her mom. What will her future be like? I don’t want to think about it but I’ve had to be very direct with her. The only probable options are selling things on the streets, maybe selling things in a small store/stand on the road or in an open-air market, or being some sort of maid. The options are bleak. It breaks my heart to think of her living in poverty. But without an education what hope is there? I try to explain to her that if she truly loves her family she should continue her education so that she can help provide for them someday. But thinking down the road is not on her mind, all she knows is what she wants right now. Please pray for her. I’ve been having a similar conversation with another 18 year old in 7^th grade, but thankfully she’s open and willing to listen. She’s struggling a lot to be motivated to continue her studies but she’s begun to grasp the idea that she needs an education in order to get any kind of a stable job in the future.

 Discipleship Program…

I am still helping out with the Discipleship program they have here. A few weeks ago I translated for a speaker from the United States. My Spanish wasn’t perfect but the message got across. IT was an exciting challenge for me. God keeps challenging and pushing me to keep growing in my Spanish, often I step back and think, how did I get here? I hated Spanish for the first at least 7 years of studying it because I was so bad at it. I never would have imagined being able to translate, teach, disciple etc in Spanish. God is indeed bigger than our natural gifting.

So speaking of challenges…tomorrow I will be giving the message at our discipleship meeting. I will be speaking on prayer, which will then be followed by leading the youth in an extending time of prayer. Please pray that God would give me the words to say, that the youth’s ears and hearts would be open and that God would open their eyes to see who He really is, convict them of their pride and independence and give them a deep and lasting desire to seek His presence, power, wisdom and transformation in prayer.

Visiting NPH…

Several weeks ago I was able to visit Diego, Dennis and Erick again. They had a big event called the Olympics at their orphanage, where the entire orphanage is split up into teams and competes the whole weekend. It was really fun, I joined Diego’s team. I gave each of the boys a book based on the recent TV series called the Bible, that retells stories from the Bible in a narrative form. I’ve had a few spiritual conversations with these boys and they don’t have much interest in God so please pray that God might move them to read this book and that it might draw them closer to Him.

Once I got back from NPH I was reading a poem that I had written about Diego my freshman year of college. Many parts made me cry but I was particularly hit by a part that I had forgotten about, reading it God reminded me again just how good He has been to me, how He has been in control the whole time and knew 5 years ago that He would indeed bring me back here, that He needed to do some great work in me before I would come to name this blog what it is named, and be able to return to Honduras…here is part of the poem…

“God, will this someday be my reality?

I pray that you bring me back.

for I see you here

I see the need for you here

I see who you have created me to be

here

where excess is striped away.

But maybe I am just running away

from obstacles that I don’t want to face.

my weaknesses.

You do not have the strength yet my child.

I am giving you a glimpse

I have not prepared you yet.

You must go back to your world.

You must face your fears.

You must become

“like a lily among thorns

is my darling among the maidens”

before I send you back.

Trust in me.”

Future thoughts…

A few weeks ago I visited three different ministries in Tegucigalpa: Casa de Ester (safe home for teen girls) the Micah Project (home and outreach to street boys) and La Esperanza (day care and youth center for families in poverty). I really enjoyed visiting all of them, learning about their ministries and meeting the staff and kids. At the moment though I am not feeling led to any of the ones in Tegucigalpa because I am feeling quite drawn to a ministry in La Ceiba (in the north of Honduras). The ministry there is a church-planting ministry through Mission to The World, the missionary sending branch of the Presbyterian Church of America. I found them through the gospel coalition’s online church directory, their church plant is one of the three listed in Honduras. They also have several mercy ministries in La Ceiba including a safe home for teen moms, a street children outreach and a medical center. I’ve been in contact with their team leader, and MTW recruiter and am hoping to take a vision trip there this month. I’m in the middle of the application process to be a 6 month intern there this coming year. Please pray for God’s guidance in all of this. I’m really excited about this opportunity, particularly because my heart in the last several years has grow more and more in love with the church and my convictions on missions, theology and missionary care seem to align very closely with this ministry. I don’t know what God will do, but it continues to be an adventure.

Thank you so much for your continual prayers for me and for what God is doing here in Honduras. I know God continues to answer them in my life and in the lives of the children here. So I can’t express enough how grateful I am for interceding to the Father on my behalf.