A sweet surprise

Today I received one of the sweetest letters I've ever received...it was from one of my students in Honduras. He sent it through a volunteer who was making a trip to the US. His name is E, he was one of my 10th grade students. He's a very kind kid who is absolutely in love with science. He's very intelligent, studious and dreams of being some kind of pilot, well particularly he would love to be a part of the US Air Force. He would always ask me if I knew about certain Air Force stations or types of planes or different types of nanotechnology and the majority of the time I had very little idea what he was talking about, or had never heard of the place. But I tried to listen and encourage him as much as I could, for I have always loved learning and loved Biology in high school, so I know what it is like to be captivated by a subject and be intrigued by science. Because of his love of science and studying it often hindered him in making friends. He spent most recesses reading a science book by himself or walking alone. In several of his English projects or small assignments he was quite open with me about his relational struggles and aware of how his serious, studious personality hindered him. It was sad to read what he wrote about having few friends, feeling like he was always failing in friendships and not always knowing why and how he has accustomed himself to being alone. But everyone needs love...and what continually humbles me is how just a little love to those who receive so little can mean more and do more than we imagine. I was no heroine, or mother Teresa in loving E. I did not go out of my way to find great ways of loving him. But simple words of encouragement, printing off pictures of airplanes for him and hugging him though he didn't really know how to give a hug meant more to him than I ever thought. When I read his letter to me today, I couldn't hold back the tears from pouring down. He unashamedly expressed how Christ's love through me had impacted his life. I feel so humbled that God chose to use me to impact this boy's life. And feel so broken that the little love that I gave him was more than he had ever received before. Oh how beautiful that God calls us to love the least of these for it truly is unto Him.

Here are a few of E's words (translated):

"Thank you for encouraging me in what I want to become. I certainly see God through you, and that makes me see that I need Him. I consider you my friend...although you may not have noted it you are a person that I love very much...thank you for all that you did here at Emmanuel: being a teacher, caring for little girls, sharing the word of God, being our friend and our support...honestly you are the only person with whom I have experienced true affection. The pictures of the airplanes encourage me more and more everyday that I see them to become what I long to be. Thank you for encouraging me in this way."

He wrote a lot more but I won't share it all...his words humble me tremendously. They make me sad that the little I gave him was so much to him. But they make me grateful that I serve a God who loves through us and impacts lives by His love that we can never foresee and make me feel so blessed that God loves to bless my heart with words of love and encouragement.

I hope that this encourages you to love those who are not loved and to believe that God works deeply in the hearts of those whom He touches through our small and feeble efforts.

Please also pray for E, he has one year left in high school at Emmanuel. Pray that God provides a way for him to pursue his dreams.

the last 8 months...a bit of a summary

             So it's been way too long since I've posted on my blog. Sorry for that! Life got so full at the end of my time at Orphanage Emmanuel and my internet was unpredictable and slow. But now that I have been back for about two weeks here is a summary of my time in Honduras...(hopefully I will be posting soon about my future plans)...

             Well the last 8 months have been full of blessings and trials. There were many things that were very hard about it but God remained faithful to me, and more than that chose to bless me by opening countless doors for me to live out my passions and minister to the children at Emmanuel. Thank you so much for your prayers, support and encouragement that enabled me to do what God called me to do at Emmanuel this past year. Without a doubt your prayers were what sustained me and moved God’s hand to work in the lives of the children there.

While at Emmanuel, God opened doors for me to try many different things. The first three weeks I worked in the clinic, taking care of an 11-year-old boy who had casts on both feet, and had other disorders and disabilities. Through this God showed me for one that I’m not called to be a nurse, but He taught me a lot about patience and doing things out of my comfort zone. Near the end of the three weeks, J accepted Christ into his heart, which was such a sweet moment.

After the clinic, I worked in the Elementary school. I created reading tests and tested the 4^th, 5^th and 6^th graders and later became the reading teacher of about 100 students. During these next 3 months I was also assigned to work with the two medium girls houses (between 8-13 yrs old, total around 80 girls). I worked with them in the morning and during meal times. For about 3 months I was in charge of supervising the cleaning up of their dining hall after every meal with teenagers who helped in the houses. I honestly really disliked this job. I liked being able to spend time with a smaller group of girls but getting a group of 10 teenage girls to clean fast, well and without complaining is like asking an elephant to fly. Though I thought I had learned about patience with J, God obviously had a lot more work to do in me. He also wanted to teach me about submission, perseverance and serving in ways that I don’t always like.

            So the first four months were pretty hard, I was working 11-hour days with little break during the day and only Sundays free. I didn’t have much emotional reserve and easily felt burnt out so deeply connecting with the kids was hard because of my busy schedule and the shear quantity of kids I was assigned to care for. I also wasn’t being poured into spiritually or emotionally very much. So I came back to the States in July to renew my VISA somewhat discouraged and disillusioned.

            But the next four months ended up being totally different. Upon returning to Emmanuel in July, I substitute taught English in the high school while my friend who was the English teacher was in Costa Rica for 3 weeks. I was quite nervous about it, but I ended up completely loving teaching high school English and was able to stay on as the English teacher for the rest of my time at Emmanuel. Although it was definitely very challenging, my students always made me laugh and I came to love each one of them. God really confirmed to me that my passion is working with youth. Through teaching I was able to build relationships of trust, truth, grace and love with my students. I had so many opportunities to share the gospel with them and to seek to live it out to them. God opened so many doors to encourage them, care for them individually and help them think about their dreams, hopes and future.

Through out my time at Emmanuel I was able to do small group Bible studies with the older girls that helped in the medium girls houses and to do one-on-one discipleship with many of them. I loved being able to study the Bible together and I especially loved being able to come alongside of them in whatever moment and listen to them share about their struggles, pour out their hearts and ask profound questions.

One of the girls that I became closest to is named K. She is 18 years old and just graduated 7^th grade. She helps in the medium girls house. We became close pretty quickly. She is a strong girl with a big personality that can swing all over the place. She can come across as tough at times, at other times hyper and very boisterous, at other times reserved and shy. We met about once a week for about 5 or 6 months. Soon on she began to share with me about her past, a past that has remained largely untold and secret until we started meeting. It was heartbreaking and horrifying to hear what she had to tell me. She endured as a child more abuse and neglect than I could hardly imagine. We talked about her past, her present, about everything. Most of the time I just listened. Although I wish I could say that she came to the point of forgiving those who have abused her and has found true freedom in Christ, I know that her learning to trust someone, to express her hurt, know that she is loved no matter what and be continually pointed to Christ was a truly significant step in her journey towards healing and forgiveness. I believe that if God sent me to Emmanuel for just one person it was for K. She remains so dear to my heart and I ask that you keep her in your prayers. Thank you to all of you who have prayed for her throughout the last several months, I know that God has been answering your prayers.  

In the last four months, I also had the opportunity to speak several times at a youth discipleship meeting. I spoke on prayer, God’s love through studying Hosea, and on forgiveness. It was exciting for me to share on topics that are so essential to the Christian walk and to share in a way that was truly centered on the gospel. For the medium girls I was able to lead a morning devotional every other week. To change things up for them, I had them act out Bible stories using the Bible passage or the Jesus Story Bible. The girls loved acting and always begged to be chosen to participate. Twice I was able to choreograph dramas for church, a dance to Kari Jobe’s “You Are For Me” and a drama to D.C. Reto’s “The Prostitute.”

           Lastly, a very special thing for me while I was in Honduras was that Emmanuel was an easy hour bus ride away from the first orphanage I ever visited 5 ½ years ago NPH where my godson, the boy I sponsor, DG and two other “unofficial” godsons, DE and E, live. Throughout this past year I was able to visit them many times and rebuild a relationship with them. It was so clear to me that God gave me this gift out of his pure love that delights to affirm and cherish my heart. It was so special to be able to see them all graduate 9^th grade, they have grown up so much. 

            God taught me so much during the last 8 months from His love and faithfulness to growing me in patience and trust to showing me more about my passions and what He has created me for, to simply loving on me through hundreds of Honduran children. Thank you for your support and prayers that made the last 8 months possible. Thank you for being a part of the work that God has done in and through me. I can’t express enough how much it has meant to me.